How long do you need to know a person before you can know for sure that this person is "the one?"

In my experience working with singles and couples, it's a good idea to know a person for at least four seasons - winter, spring, summer, fall - before you decide this is the one.

This give you enough time to determine if this person is someone who is commit-able, able to enter fully into a long term loving relationship.

If you have a history of failed and/or difficult relationships, you may be feeling "gun shy" - more than a little scared to get into another relationship and repeat history.

That's a reasonable and even healthy fear. Sometimes, however, we can all benefit from a history-ectomy. A history-ectomy is when you learn from the past and then cut it loose.

Just because it is what you have always done does not mean that you have to keep doing it.

You can do things differently.

You can make different choices.

You can change.

Finally, there is something important to rememeber about being alone:

Lonliness is being alone when you wish you were not.

Solitude is another state of being alone. Solitude is when you are alone by choice, bcause you want to be alone and enjoy being alone.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com